Sharing Unicorn Soup with your friends has been scientifically proven to prevent your March Madness Brackets from bursting into flames after the first weekend. Seriously, Florida Gulf Coast–who picks a 15 to go to the Sweet 16?
That my dear reader is how I pass as a normal everyday of work. 30 minutes of ESPN radio a few times a week on the way to work and I’m set for my talking points.
Check it out, *ahem*
“So who do you like, Tiger or the field?”
“Yeah, Flacco signed a huge new deal but he won’t see most of that money.”
“The Yankees won’t even finish second the AL East–that division is loaded! Smart money is on Toronto.”
“D’Antoni’s system just isn’t built for two bigs.”
Pretty good right? I actually like sports well enough, but I haven’t watched any regularly for years…it’s just too dramatic. Not good dramatic, more like “Pretty Little Liars” dramatic. Don’t believe it? Just watch any emotionally manipulative ESPN bio piece… or a 30 for 30.
Anyway, it’s best to just have a few stock responses ready and when in doubt, go Jordan and you’ll be fine.
Weekly Soup readers we’ve got some exciting news. In the coming weeks Jim and I will be debuting an entirely new project.
I don’t want to say too much at this point, but it’s an adventure comic presented in the classic style of Milton Caniff‘s adventure strips. The new project will run on Mondays–so hopefully when you roll into work we can help you start your week off right. By “right” I mean sticking it to the man and showing them that you’re not some worker drone, you’re a human being and that means reading comics whenever the fuck you want! The story is already penned, revised, completed–so once we get a comfortable backlog of weekly strips produced we’ll begin releasing them. I’m lucky enough to have seen the first week’s strip already, and I have to tell you, Jim is extraordinarily gifted.
I think we’re all in for a treat.
All that said, have no fear Thursdays will still be reserved for the tomfoolery that you’ve come to expect here at Unicorn Soup. As always, we’ll alternate between what have become our three staples–the parenting and baby humor that my wife loves, the video game humor that she tolerates, and the masturbation jokes that she hates. The poor woman woman, the poor lovely, exceptional woman.
To be clear, the comic is a critique of sexism in gaming and the game industry.
“But Jack,” you’re no doubt thinking “that’s obvious! Don’t you have faith in me as a reader?”
“Yes,” I respond. “Yes, I do dear reader. After all, you’re part of the real cool club that is Unicorn Soup!”
That said, you never know where your comic will wind up…plus there are a lot of stupid people in the world.
Take as evidence the inexplicable promotional campaign that was the Dead Island: Riptide’s torso boobs statue. A company that earlier suffered from the ignominy of the a bit of left over code labeling the female lead a “Feminist Whore.” A bit of code, no matter how tasteless and ugly, could just be the remnant of a hateful programmer -and shouldn’t necessarily be held against an entire organization. A promotional campaign complete with a tiny busty bust–sure doesn’t speak well of the corporate climate surrounding Deep Silver.
I like clear glaring displays of stupidity. It lets you know who to avoid, and who to avoid giving your money to.