Unicorn Soup Webcomic

Praise

So there I was in the Costco bakery.

I was going to buy something.

Something awesome.

While I decided, I watched the busy bakers pull giant muffin trays out of equally giant ovens.  The smell is intoxicating.

I love the Costco bakery. It’s a place of anticipation.  A place of promise.

Moderately priced priced baked goods inflated to Herculean portions–it’s like getting a “Golden Ticket” except I’m not burdened with a sadistic Wonka making a morality play of the experience.

I am however burdened with a cholesterol of 335 (a good 135 points above acceptable, or so I’m told).

Saddled with that number and a family history of early exists–I fear my love for mammoth baked goods, is a love that was never meant to be.

So I equivocate–perhaps a five pound key lime pie is excessive; I guess I don’t really need a 12544 calorie chocolate cake (that’s actually true, sad, and true).

I told you though, I was determined to get something awesome. Instead, I got the most banal of baked goods, I got chocolate chip cookies.

They’re good, but my god it felt like a failure when I bought them.

The failure was complete when I ate two in the parking lot.

The worst part, I spent well over a hundred dollars there today. Other than beer and cookies I can’t for the life of me think of what I bought.

Cheers,

Jack