The many faces of Spousus Domesticus more commonly known as “The Wife.” I suppose I’d glare too if I had to put up with me.
Panel 1 “Fart Jokes” Consider I find virtually every fart joke funny, regardless of context. That’s got to be aggravating as shit. Tangentially, anytime I hear a reflection on X public servant’s “duty” I snicker. “Doodie” is hilarious.
Panel 2 “Shaving” I really do hate shaving. Not like faux hate, genuine hate. I also tend to dislike beards, except in deepest winter. As a result, my kisses feel like punishment. Again, aggravating as shit.
Panel 3 “Laundry” As to the unfolded laundry, this is the only one I should get a pass on. I’m not the one buying myself all the fancy clothes that need to be attended to the moment they exit the drier. Don’t even get me started on the laundry that “can’t” be washed, or those that “can’t” be dried. That’s just deceptive.
Panel 4 “Groping” Okay, I get a pass on two of these glares… cause I was WAY “gropier” or “more gropy,” in any event, I did a lot more of the groping while I was dating my wife than I do now that we’re married. I was led to believe that the groping was endearing, impish, and perhaps even charming.
Panel 5 “Boobs” So as to Kirsten Dunst… we’ll just say I deserved the glare I got as I carefully paused and unpaused Meloncholia in a sincere effort to make sure my internet research on the timestamp was accurate.
Panel 6 “Emoticon” Honestly, I could care less about emoticon glares. Those are for teenagers and newlyweds.
God bless my wife and her ability to put up with my bullshit. I probably deserve all the glares I get, unless it deals with laundry or groping.