I’m filling in for Jack this week, as he’s having back problems that prevent him from sitting at the computer and being funny. I’d like for everyone to take a minute and think some warm, healing waves in his direction. You don’t need to know where he is, just focus them on the monitor or a convenient USB port, and the magic of the internet will do the rest. Just address them to Jack in your brain. Miracles of modern technology, right? What an age we live in, etc. and whatnot.
Speaking of which, please find enclosed above our comic about technology, about how kids’ toys are specifically designed to annoy parents, and how some parents still play with toys, only our toys are way cooler. Or something like that, I didn’t have time to read it closely. Although, that is a pretty cool spatula. If I had that, I’d spatula everything not nailed down. Fried eggs would be at least 15% more delicious!
My mother’s first present to my first child? A blinking plastic monstrosity that bleated incessantly at exactly the right frequencies to cause me to grind my teeth down to brittle nubs. Thanks, grandma! Don’t think I don’t know exactly what you were thinking!